How the film 'Taken' potentially saved my life. . .

So the title says all really. For anyone who hasn't seen the film, it's about 2 girls who travel to Paris from America and get kidnapped after sharing a taxi home with a good-looking french man who turns out to be a part of a huge human trafficking scandal. After watching the first time I told myself I was never going to Paris! Of course the film is blown out of proportion in some ways (I don't think anyone's dad would be as awesome as Liam Neeson in this, not even mine. Sorry dad, love you still!) but there are still many harsh truths depicted in the film. This would include the existence of human trafficking not only in Paris, but all across Europe and the rest of the world.

     My experience differs a lot from the film (thankfully!) but it's still kind of scary to think what could have happened had I not been aware of how easily abductions can happen. It occurred when I went to Italy for my godson's christening in September 2012. After the christening I decided to go to Rome by myself for 2 days before we flew back home. I had not been in Rome since I was 8 years old. I spent 3 months there on our first ever holiday abroad when my dad was working over there so I longed to go back to the city and re-explore the place that means so much to my childhood.
     I was staying in a hostel and had been walking around sight-seeing all day. As the evening came and the darkness rolled in with it, it started to rain. This meant the streets weren't bustling with tourists/locals as much as they would be if it were dry. Considering the rain was more of a heavy drizzle and the air was warm, I had no problem walking around and ticking each landmark that I wanted to see at night (for the lights) off my list. And of course I'm Irish too so a bitta drizzle wasn't going to get in my way, would you be mad?! 

My view having walked around the corner. 

     I was using my trusty tourist map to get around, but the streets are easy enough to navigate so I had no map in hand while walking around the corner into Piazza di Trevi to the beautiful Trevi Fountain. I wasn't dressed like a tourist but the long ginger, curly hair and glow-in-the-dark pale skin kind of gives it away in most cases! There was about 30 people at the fountain which is nothing compared to what it was like when I went there the next day on a dry night. This time I'm sure there were more umbrellas than people. I noticed a young man talking in a group that I had to walk by to get to the front of the fountain. They all appeared to be friends, I thought nothing of it, I was just taking in my surroundings. 
      While standing at the fountain, taking pictures and enjoying the view, I saw the man I noticed with the group approach from the corner of my eye and stand a few feet away from me on my left facing the fountain. He said 'Hello' to me, but as I wasn't looking at him and my hair was down (I allowed that to hang by the side of my face so it would seem I have no peripheral vision which made it easier to ignore him) I pretended not to either hear what he said or show I knew he was talking to me. After a few attempts of saying hello in different languages he took a step closer so that he was about 2 feet from me and said 'Hello!' directly at me. I felt I couldn't ignore him any longer so I turned and said 'Hello!' right back. He was slightly taller than me, a skinny fella, light hair, sallow skin, bright eyes, crooked teeth, not the best looking chap. He proceeded to ask why I have no umbrella, there was some small talk. He offered to take a picture of me in front of the fountain, which I accepted as all my previous landmark photos were just selfies with me and the building masked behind my frizzy hair. He took a few photos (not a great photographer might I add!) and he handed back the camera. He asked if I was here by myself and I said I was with my family who I'm meeting soon (lie). I asked him where he was from and he said Milan. I asked if he was here with friends and he said no, he was alone. At that point the caution bells that were tinging in my head burst into alarm bells. He wasn't here alone, he was here with a group of other young men. I just knew from the way I saw him talking to them earlier that he knew them. He asked if I would like to go for coffee to which I politely declined. He insisted and tried to talk it up as if this coffee would be the best experience of my life. This is also only after about 4 minutes of small talk, not even. I told him my family were waiting on me in a restaurant (lie) in the hopes that he would just give up and leave me alone so I could get back to enjoying the Trevi. He wouldn't give up though so I left him as I told him I had to go meet my family (lie) as he continued with protests. 
      I walked hastily away and down Via del Lavatore and went into Al Picchio, a beautiful restaurant which turns out was my favourite place to eat out in, 12 years earlier. I just went into it this time because it wasn't too far from the Trevi so if Milan Man tried to follow me he'd see me going into a restaurant. Plus I liked how it looked on the outside! 

It's pasta made of potatoe. Irish mind BLOWN.

     That was all the interaction with Milan Man I had. In the restaurant and for the rest of the trip I didn't really think much else of it. I was hungry and was mapping my route across Rome for the following day. What affected me more then was how pitiful and surprised the waiters were that I was dining alone. They removed the place mat across from me while looking at me like I was a child whose puppy had just died. The cheek! I was also trying gnocchi for the first time so I had practically forgotten about it. Food does that to me sometimes!
      On hindsight though, thinking about my interaction with Milan Man, I could have completely overreacted. He might have been just a sincere guy chancing his arm at a date with an Irish girl or just trying to get to know some travelers. I could have just been paranoid. Maybe he wasn't going to get me involved in human trafficking in some way. Maybe it might not have been as drastic as that. Maybe he wanted the 'ride' as some would say! To me, that is definitely something I still did not want. Maybe nothing would have happened if I went for that coffee, expect for a chat.
      But then again, maybe I could have died. Who knows? No one knows. All I know is I did not get a good feeling off this guy and I went with my gut. One thing I do know is I certainly do not regret not going for coffee with him just to be nice. I honestly don't know though, if I would have made the same choice had I not seen Taken.
      It's crazy to think what a fictional movie can teach you. I never doubted the existence of human trafficking but I never thought it would consist of 'nice' people luring you into a false friendship or sense of security. If I had not seen the movie, I would like to think I would have made the same choice. I hope I wouldn't have been naive enough to accept a date with a stranger in the capital city of a foreign country I was only familiar with. [I definitely would have turned down the coffee though. I hate coffee. Hot chocolate person all the way!] Many close friends who know me, know I find it extremely hard to say no to people, especially when it comes to turning down a guy. I either just go along with it for fear of hurting their feelings or run away and cut off all contact with them. [That's awful, I know, but I'm working on it!] So I honestly don't know if I would still be here or not had I not been recently exposed to human trafficking in Europe. 

Like I said, not the best photographer!

     That photo of me in front of the Trevi fountain could have been the last photo taken of me. Again, I know other people have more exciting stories of when they were actually kidnapped or robbed from or jailed and can laugh about it now, but it's always better to be safe than sorry, right? Would you have done the same? When it comes to travelling alone, especially as a female, you're always better off not taking any risks.
     Good advice to the lone female traveler would be;

• Always be alert when traveling, especially walking around at night. Be aware and take in your surroundings. You don't always have to be on edge, just alert.
• Don't get drunk when you're on your own in a city, even if your drinking with a group you just met. 
• Don't let men buy you drinks, they usually want something from you in return and could easily spike you. 
• Walk around with confidence. If you can't avoid interactions with strangers you don't want to talk to, speak to them confidently and don't be afraid to reject their offers. (This is also why I tried not to walk around with my map out all the time.)
• Lie (with confidence). Say you're travelling with family/partner/friends if needs be.
• Carry a safety whistle and/or pepper spray if you want, for extra protection.
• If you're walking around on your own, try not to wear provocative or revealing clothing. Dress for the climate but try to be smart about it. I know nobody asks to be attacked and we are able to wear want we want but always consider your surroundings and safety.
• Read up on where you're going before you get there and what kind of illegal activity goes on there so you know what to avoid.
• Always, always trust your gut feeling. If you don't like the vibe you're getting off a person or place, leave.

You can adhere to the above advice and still have a damn good time. I certainly did! I think to live is to travel. And you need to be alive to live so look after yourself. ;) 

So inadvertently, Liam Neeson kind of potentially saved my life! Damn. I'm sure there's potential for Taken 3 there. . .

Any feedback, questions, advice, thoughts are kindly welcomed. Have a great day and happy travels!

Grá.

Ceara

x

I took this picture as I left the fountain. His umbrella is out of sight. Beautiful fountain though! A must see in Italy.

Bikini Bodies - A Misleading Farce!

Every year, before we even have had the time to source pain killers to help us through our New Year's celebration hangover, magazines already have their Spring issues in print. As Spring leads to Summer (which I'm hoping you already know) so many magazines, fashion/beauty blogs and online articles etc. are already talking about what to wear as the weather gets warmer, how to lose some of those pounds gained from eating your weight in mince pies and how to get the most amazing 'bikini body'. 

So, what is a bikini body? Surely if you have a body and put on a bikini, you are then the definition of a bikini body? On searching for a definition of this term, the description I repeatedly came across went something along the lines of 'a body that looks sexy in a bikini.' 

1. Feel good, look good.
First of all, if you have the confidence to strut your stuff in a bikini and feel happy in your own skin no matter what shape, size or colour your body is then you're sexy, you have a bikini body and I salute you! That's not an easy task for everyone and there are women in their thousands that actually work to get the 'perfect' bikini body and still end up feeling self conscious. Screw the saying 'Look good, feel good.' If you feel good then that shines through you and you look good.

2. It's not all on the outside.
However I know from experience, it's never just about yourself. In situations like this you will probably compare yourself to others around you and think 'Their bikini body is better than mine.' Now, it's important you note that what you see on the outside is not always important. Skinny Joe on the beach over there looking great is actually really unhealthy and can't run 100 meters without needing to take a break and have someone massage his ankles. Then you have Chubby Charlie over there who looks slightly overweight but could actually lift heavier weights than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and easily outrun Skinny Joe! You see what I'm getting at?

3. You can't please everyone.
If you're working on your bikini body to impress others then I'm sorry to break it to you but you won't be everyone's taste. Some people aren't attracted to others with toned abs. Some people aren't attracted to people with love handles. Some people aren't attracted to people with an 'innie' bellybutton. So quit trying to please everyone or fit yourself into a worldwide farce of a perfect body because there is no such thing and it's impossible to make everyone happy. Just be happy with yourself!

4. Tan before you go where you're going to get a tan...wait, what?

The amount of work that lots of ladies I know out into their summer holiday body is crazy. One of them being to get a tan before they get there, usually via sun beds. Why? If you're going to a sunny country then surely you'll get a tan there? Won't it feel like you're cheating too? Plus that amount of concentrated UV light all over your skin is not healthy. Especially on fair, Irish skin! Plus you'll stick out like a sore thumb among us fair folk before you leave. If you can't tan and don't wan't to stick out of the crowd while you're over there then first of all, a tan probably wouldn't suit you anyway, and second of all, you might not be recognized in your passport photo if you look like a different nationality. Just saying!

5. Dieting could do the reverse of what you want it to.
On top of tanning there's dieting. Now there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with cutting bad food out of your diet and eating healthily. But just eating less food and not getting all the nutrients and calories you need daily is unhealthy. You might think it's great because you drop a few pounds and look great, but when you go on holidays, one of the things you'll be doing is eating. Well you should be anyway, food is a huge part of culture and your whole travel experience! So you'll probably be back to eating the same amount of calories (or more) from before your diet and the weight will pile right back on. (To understand why this happens click here.) Don't cut out food/calories that you need, maintain a healthy diet on top of exercise and you'll feel and look great!
-I would also just like to comment on Kate Moss' famous quote; "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I highly disagree with this. She's obviously never tasted my veggie lasagna, or the pizza in Naples or even had french toast with syrup!! Screw skinny. Food is great and makes me happy. I love food. You should too!

6. Let's exercise for Summer!! YEAH! Aaaand, rest... for the rest of the year...
Of course there'll nearly always be a work out regime created to get your bikini body ready for summer and one thing about this really bugs me. Why is there so much pressure to exercise for your image and only for Summer?! Why not constantly talk about exercising for health and do so All. Year. Round. This is why I extremely dislike the idea of a bikini body. Understandably people are aware that the weather will be warmer hence they'll be taking trips to the beach, going on holidays or just going on a good swim and quite frankly, if you were to wear jeans or jumpers to any of the above, not only will you get people thinking you must have grown up in a volcano but you will also probably get heat stroke. Most likely. So, you will be wearing less clothes and you might be wearing a swimsuit or bikini or any outfit with a bit more on show than usual and fair enough, you want to look good so you exercise in advance. Then when it gets colder and the layers of clothes compete with those of an onion, a lot of people stop caring about that body that very few are going to see hence reduce/stop the exercise. Bikini body leans towards getting fit and healthy just for summer. How about staying fit and healthy all year round? And heck if you want to go swimming in December then you put that bikini on and still feel and look great!

These are the main 6 reasons why I think the idea of a 'Bikini body' is a misleading farce, and I didn't even get to 'bikini bridges' or the waxing and plucking and shaving preparation! If you agree, awesome. If you don't, please tell me why!

My message to all you ladies who still think they are not worthy of wearing a bikini I say this; you're mostly worried about what other people will think of you. Realistically, no one cares! This is how I get past most insecure issues I have; realizing the only one who notices or cares about what I worry about is ME. No one else cares!! So just put that bikini on and walk with your head held high. And if you don't want to wear one, then don't! All I ask is that you be healthy, be happy and forget about what anyone else thinks or says. Focus on yourself and enjoy that sun.

This meme sums up how I think you get a bikini body:

Message!

Thank you for reading. Find me on Facebook or Twitter  and let me know what you think or if it's just me!

Grá,

Ceara

x